So, I’m a 20 year old student. I’m studying lots of things you probably don’t really give a damn about at uni. I’m constantly in search of slightly more enlightened people than the majority of…well…people. I’m a feminist, frequently described as the ‘token feminist’ by my peers…which is encouraging. I’m still learning, and there is so much to learn and such a vast amount that is hidden, or that we learn not to see. I’m also talking about myself more than is usual or comfortable, so I’ll leave it at that =]
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December 7, 2009 at 8:21 pm
Damien Perera
Hi,
When browsing the web, I came across your site and thought of making this suggestion.
Not only men, today there are many men (including myself) who respect & support feminist ideology. Also there are many men who go beyond that and believe in female superiority. They respect their wives as head of family, and there are lovers who prefer female-led-relationships. Even though many think that equality is better than ‘led-relationships’, there is a popular lifestyle among men to think otherwise and so they love and respect female leadership in relationships. This means not to be lazy from the man’s side, but to assume more responsibility in relationships or family life. Please do some web search on this, and please give a place to men also who support your great mission..
Wish you all the very best !
December 7, 2009 at 10:00 pm
Caitlin
Hi there Damien,
I totally agree that there are men who respect and support feminism! I am active in campaigning for feminism as a movement to be more inclusive to men, especially when it comes to activism. I believe that the only way we can fix society and make it equal is to set an example within our movement, so denying men a voice in feminism seems hypocritical. I hope that this blog can provide men with information about feminism too, and be welcoming to them. I’m sorry if you feel it doesn’t!
I agree that some people choose to love and respect their partner’s leadership, I just don’t think it should be a gendered thing. I don’t think it’s right to say that women are superior to men, inverting the problem doesn’t get rid of it, it just changes the victim. A matriarchy is not the answer!
All the best to you, too, and thanks for checking out my blog
December 12, 2009 at 8:24 pm
Damien
Thanks. Happy to know that feminist men also have a place in your blog.
I don’t say that matriarchy is the answer, but there are many men today who respect women who lead them. Also there are many women who like supportive men. I think it is a lifestyle. Increasing number of books and websites on this lifestyle are proof of its popularity, eg. http://www.she-makes-the-rules.com , http://www.venus-on-top.com . What is important is that these men are all feminists. So I think it would be fair for femist movements to recognize these men and women who follow this lifestyle.
December 13, 2009 at 6:59 pm
Caitlin
Very interesting sites. Yep I don’t see the problem with women identifying as strong and as ‘leaders’ in the way that many men already do. Nor do I see a problem with men accepting that leadership…consider the men and women who follow this lifestyle recognised by THIS feminist
December 14, 2009 at 7:32 am
Damien
Thanks Madam. With your answer, I believe that you have laid the foundation for a very strong move towards feminism, and even beyond that when you said that “I don’t see a problem with women identifying as strong and as ‘leaders’ in the way that many men already do…”. Because many more women (including feminists) don’t like to accept this reality. I think this is the problem before us today that needs very strong and urgent awareness, first among the feminist activists, and then among all women in the world.
Today there are so many feminists who always shout against violence against women done by men. Neither of them point out, as a good example, to the case of so many men who respectfully admire and are supportive of women who lead them, i.e. may be in office as the female boss or friend, at home as the wife, or as girlfriend in casual relationships. The terms ‘female-led relationships’ or ‘wife-led marriage’ are no longer going to be unpopular words. But I feel the pace of their getting popular is not enough. Let this normal lifestyle be as much popular /known to the public as possible so that those who have been shy or inibited to follow it (even though they adore it) may unleash their true desires.
Please think of having a dialogue on this with other feminist sites.
December 20, 2009 at 4:14 am
Ayesha Janz
Very interesting communication. I was wondering why feminist sites are silent on men who really respect the leadership of women. It is we who turn a deaf ear to them. There is a very interesting & informative site “Around Her Finger”– http://www.aroundherfinger.com/
I think its time feminists pay more attention to this beautiful lifestyle.
April 16, 2010 at 6:16 pm
Damien Perera
Madam Caitlin,
Just to continue my previous communication with you on the lifestyle where men adore women’s rule and leadership, especially in romantic relationships and marriage. As you know, the request to go beyond feminism /equality comes from certain men, who prefer to obey the strong personality and leadership qualities of women over men.
I am a guy who likes this lifestyle very much, and I am happily in such a relationship for the past two years. It works very well for us — my partner enjoys being my guide and leader in our relationship. I think she really deserves my care, attention and asssiatance to her always. That is why I learned to do her hair-dressing, beauty & massage therapy, cooking, etc. I know that there are many men who like this lifestyle, but the problem is the weak response from women. Few ladies recently told me that they would definitely like such different lifestyle only if it is popular and accepted among women as a normal lifestyle.
Therefore I would like to suggest you to open up a discussion on this lifestyle with feminist societies linked with The Token Feminist.
Thank you
Damien
February 25, 2011 at 4:05 am
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Hi there,
I have a question for the webmaster/admin here at thetokenfeminist.wordpress.com.
Can I use part of the information from your post right above if I give a link back to this website?
Thanks,
John
March 9, 2011 at 9:37 pm
Caitlin
Of course, John