So there are two things that I wanna talk about. One: National Women’s Day. And two: surnames and hyphenation. Handily connected in my title *is pleased with self*
International Women’s Day is celebrated on the 8th of March, so it’s soon! And I’d like to do something at college to join the celebrations, or at least to acknowledge it…any suggestions??
Here’s some background:
IWD is now an official holiday in Armenia, Russia, Azerbaijan, Belarus, Bulgaria, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Macedonia, Moldova, Mongolia, Tajikistan, Ukraine, Uzbekistan and Vietnam. The tradition sees men honouring their mothers, wives, girlfriends, colleagues, etc with flowers and small gifts. In some countries IWD has the equivalent status of Mother’s Day where children give small presents to their mothers and grandmothers.
The new millennium has witnessed a significant change and attitudinal shift in both women’s and society’s thoughts about women’s equality and emancipation. Many from a younger generation feel that ‘all the battles have been won for women’ while many feminists from the 1970’s know only too well the longevity and ingrained complexity of patriarchy. With more women in the boardroom, greater equality in legislative rights, and an increased critical mass of women’s visibility as impressive role models in every aspect of life, one could think that women have gained true equality. The unfortunate fact is that women are still not paid equally to that of their male counterparts, women still are not present in equal numbers in business or politics, and globally women’s education, health and the violence against them is worse than that of men.
However, great improvements have been made. We do have female astronauts and prime ministers, school girls are welcomed into university, women can work and have a family, women have real choices. And so the tone and nature of IWD has, for the past few years, moved from being a reminder about the negatives to a celebration of the positives.
All this and more found here 
What do y’all think? Do we need a day to celebrate women and their achievements? I personally think that it’s important, as it is one day of the year where it really isn’t taboo to talk about women’s issues and speaking out is…well, pretty much expected. For once. BUT that is only if people have heard of the day - not many people I know of are aware of when it is…or even that it exists!
I also just discovered the Brighton and Hove group: here and there’s a comedy night on Thurs…I wonder if I could go…
Anyway, I digress. If anyone has any ideas for IWD at my college, nothing too large scale because a) I have very little time, and b) There’s not a great deal of support there…then I’d appreciate them!
As for surnames…
Today, I was talking to a friend about Jessica Valenti’s book, Full Frontal Feminism, who had read an extract, and she said she disagreed with what Jessica had to say about the changing of surnames. It turned into a rather big discussion, and I was the only one there saying that changing one’s name is significant. That it still is the tradition for women to take their husbands name. And that, at some point, the patriarchal system of passing on the husband/father’s name has to be addressed.
So, here’s what was said by t’others…
- Surnames don’t matter. They are just names, after all.
- Women can do what they like with their names now, everyone knows that.
- Surely feminism should focus on something else, something more important?
- Hyphenated names are ‘annoying’ and just mean that your child has to choose which part of the name to keep.
Of course, as the proud owner of a hyphenated surname, the last one rubbed me the wrong way a little. But I think that it’s a good solution. As is forging a new surname between you, moving on from the family ‘line’ and starting anew. I don’t think that your surname is your identity. But I think that it can still be important to you, that there’s power in a name (as most fantasy novels will tell you!) and so to dismiss it as a non-issue is saddening. Especially as it was almost a symbol of ownership, of a woman moving from being their father’s property to their husband’s. I for one am not happy with that, however traditional it may be.
Also, feminism really doesn’t focus on surnames. There’s no one focus, unless you say that it’s taking action towards equality. I often get that argument, if I ever take issue with the presentation of women in films/tv, or something similar. Why should I care, why doesn’t feminism focus on more important things?
Hell, one man (a teacher, surprisingly) even said to me ‘why do you focus on feminism when there are children dying in Africa?’. He was rather surprised when I said that I think feminism could help that, for if women were treated equally to men then they wouldn’t be raped in Africa, and they would be allowed access to contraception, so they wouldn’t have so many children and HIV wouldn’t be so widespread. Then there would be less mouths to feed, so less children starving, and more children would still have their mothers, rather than losing them to HIV.
Yet again, I digress. What do you think RE surnames? Do women still take their husbands name out of respect for tradition, or do they keep their own? Is it still surprising for men to take their wife’s surname? (Interesting, in regards to this, that in 1990 people were starting to see the sexism in surnames, yet in 2003 they appear to have digressed to an acceptance of the husband’s surname again…) Are hyphenated surnames irritating? And do they really matter at all, in the end? Perhaps we should drop them altogether, as this woman did…
Oh also, on a side note - I am almost exploding with anger over this…Charlotte Allen clearly lacks any intelligence or logic whatsoever.
And on that note - adieu.
11 comments
Comments feed for this article
March 3, 2008 at 10:05 pm
Matt Gates
Intestingly, did you know Women’s World Day of Prayer is on the same day? (I think it’s the 8th or the 7th) which aims to highlight the injustices of women throughout the world by collective prayer? - perhaps you should talk to the CU? Bit late to organise something for the 8th March isn’t it? (plus, that’s a Saturday)
Interesting stuff about surnames- I reckon it’s not really seen as unusual for the men to take the women’s surname in marriage, I certainly wouldn’t find it odd. I think it just depends on the indivudals. I, for example, am in no way attached to my surname and will (I really hope) take the surname of the unfortunate lady I marry (if I marry at all!) In other cases the man maybe really attached to the name and the women not so etc. Whilst I agree and accpet that the tradtion of taking the man’s name is patriarchal in orgin I’m not fully convinced that sexism plays a part in this today. In most cases, if the man or the woman felt really strongly about it the other partner would just change their surname (or maybe not?!?)
My two cents over- great blogs by the way! However, you are now responsible for me not doing any work
March 3, 2008 at 10:18 pm
Caitlin
Saturday?
You can tell I thought it through, right? Damn. Well maybe I’ll do something anyway.
Sorry for distracting you Matt! It’s interesting though…I dunno, I agree that it should be about a joint decision, and if one person in the relationship feels particularly attached to their surname then they should be able to keep it, but I do believe that there are still a lot of people that just take their husband’s name by default. And people referring to such things as non-issues…well, it irritates me! Obviously there are bigger issues, but the smaller ones still count.
You know, you and your unfortunate lady could take a new name? It’s an idea…
March 3, 2008 at 10:25 pm
Jacob Ward
The problem I forsee with double-barrelled surnames is that if two people with them marry and this continues, then things will end up being mightily confusing.
Personally I would like a future wife to join the Ward clan and for offspring to bear my name, but by no means would I force the issue. Name changing to me is about unity; my parents, not being married, never had the same name, so as a kid it felt less like one unified family than four people living together with two (and eventually three) different names. I would never change my name; I feel it’s a part of who I am - I’ve grown into being a Jacob and a Ward (and indeed a Julius and a Harry) - so I could empathise with a future wife if they didn’t want to change their name. It’s not about being a conservative (:P) I just think it would be nice and is symbolic of the unifying nature of marriage.
Never heard of IWD, and I have the distinct feeling if I were to hand out cards and flowers to random girls at college I would probably have the shit beaten out of me, but celebration at a less violent college sounds like a good idea. Good luck
March 3, 2008 at 10:31 pm
Caitlin
It’s not so much cards and flowers nowadays dear, more a celebration of the achievements of women…
I agree, Jakey - you can become accustomed to your surname, it can indeed become part of your identity…You seem to think I’ll disagree with ye, but as long as you respect the fact that such emotional attachment to a name can be felt by a woman as much as a man, I think we’re thinking along at least parallel lines, if not the same ones
With double-barrelled surnames, the next generations could choose half and half - so I could use Hayward or Tapp and join it with all of or part of my partner’s name…
March 3, 2008 at 10:37 pm
Jacob Ward
But if one is unattached enough to give up half a name, then they might be ok with getting rid of the whole thing
We get discriminated against too, it’s not just feminists (though I do count myself among your ranks as well…let’s not get involved in discussions as to the compatibility of the two ideological movements :P)
I’m just covering my arse in expectation of remarks about conservatism
March 3, 2008 at 10:50 pm
Caitlin
Feminism and conservatism…now there’s an interesting one. A political stance that endorses tradition, inc the traditional family and, more often than not, the traditional role of women, with feminism.
Yeah, ok. Sure O.o
March 3, 2008 at 11:01 pm
Jacob Ward
Traditionalism is not the central precept of conservatism, or my conservatism at least. I don’t agree with every aspect of conservatism, just like I don’t agree with every aspect of feminism. I am lucky enough to have freedom of thought, so I am able to pick and choose aspects of both ideologies to make one super Ward ideology
On the family note, I do think it’s a shame that as time goes on the family unit appears to be becoming more and more a distant memory. By family unit I don’t mean working man, housewife and 2.4 kids, rather a family that sticks together and has real affection for one another, like yours and very unlike mine. If more families stayed together then we perhaps wouldn’t have such a problem with ‘youths’.
Anyway, I guess I’m just a sentimental bugger.
March 4, 2008 at 11:13 pm
Matt Gates
Interesting Jake, you say ‘Traditionalism is not the central precept of conservatism’ whilst this may be true, pragmatism more certainly is (unless you count Thatcher as a conservative- which is nigh on impossible.) Feminism and conservatism can never work side-by-side, they are like the opposite poles of a compass. Despite that, the traditional conservative view of women having a duty to raise a family, become a mother and look after children was a view also endorsed by Wollstonecraft herself and they most likley would have agreed in that respect.
I hate to sound like a fithy liberal but I still reckon this all comes down the individuals - if either the man or woman feel strongy about their name they will want to keep it. Saying that, I can see why Caitlin is opposed to the man’s name being taken ‘by default’ and my question is this- do you think many women (or men) feel strongly about this or do they (like trad conservatives) enjoy it as part of the so-called british tradition?
March 5, 2008 at 11:54 am
Jacob Ward
You seem to have a very jaundiced view of conservatism. Conservatism is about retaining the best elements of society and staving off ridiculous radical innovation. It’s not about the suppression of women. It’s not about Britishness. These are separate issues which might be advocated by some ‘traditional’ conservatives, but Britishness was in fact an invention of the Whigs (the ancestors of the Liberal party), and while it was under a Liberal government that women were originally granted suffrage, a Liberal government was in power for 13 years before this was finally granted, and it was under a Conservative government that women were given equal suffrage to men. It is by no means the case that conservatives are all sexist pigs and liberals are all feminists. I am a conservative and a feminist and there are no doubt liberals who believe women should take their names. You say ‘I hate to sound like a fithy liberal but I still reckon this all comes down the individuals - if either the man or woman feel strongy about their name they will want to keep it’, and I agree totally with this; I only said I would quite like it if my future wife would take my name but that I would not force the issue.
Anyway, I really must get on with my classics coursework.
How are things btw? Haven’t seen you in a couple of weeks.
March 9, 2008 at 4:19 pm
Derek
On the issue of name-changing, it’s something I’ve felt rather strongly about and I can think of times I’ve pissed off some women who felt it was necessary that they change their names. From my experience, although there are certainly exceptions, most women want to change their surnames to their husband’s name because it’s “the way things have always been.” That, to me, is not an adequate response.
You’re right in that it reflects the idea that women the property of the men they marry. This is where the whole name-changing business came from, and while there seems to be a general consensus that people don’t view women as property any longer (although I tend to disagree with that) and so the original reasons why women changed their names is now irrelevant, or so they say.
So, my main issue is that it still posits women as property of men, whether we admit it or not. I don’t exactly plan on getting married unless I, somewhere down the line, meet a fantastic woman who really wishes to get married, but I do think there are solutions to the name-changing business, and you’ve mentioned them all. Personally, I really like the idea of forming a new name, as it really means that my partner and myself would be casting away our patriarchal surnames for good. I would have no problem adopting my partner’s name, either, but I know that in conservative Alberta, at least, it wouldn’t be seen in a positive light.
Well, I’ve said just about enough on the issue, I think. And while it is seemingly a small problem, it is a part of the larger problem that women are still treated as property in the world, despite how many people fail to see it.
March 9, 2008 at 5:07 pm
Caitlin
Yep, I agree - a new name always strikes me as the best solution, but a lot of people are very attached to their surnames. Apparently my g.parents (on my dad’s side) would be devastated if I got rid of my dad’s part of our surname IF I ever married, which is a pain…not that it’d stop me if that’s what I wanted to do. People see it as continuing a ‘line’, but as long as it’s a male line, as it inevitably is when you have your father’s name and he has his father’s ad infinitum, then it’s not right…
It’s interesting how offended people seem to get when you talk about changing surnames - it’s one of those traditions that a lot of people seem to be attached to. Strange.